


I'll Dedicate This Stage to You

by toffeenutfrapuccino



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 50 percent MarkHyuck fluff, 50 percent RenHyuck angst, Band Fic, Fluff and Angst, M/M, RenHyuck exes, Slight mentions of toxic relationships, concert setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29000631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffeenutfrapuccino/pseuds/toffeenutfrapuccino
Summary: It's their band's first album launch, and Lee Donghyuck is grateful that he finally gets to take a huge leap towards fulfilling his dreams, with the love of his life, his muse, by his side.It also seems to be the day when his first love finally gets to say his last goodbye.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	I'll Dedicate This Stage to You

**Author's Note:**

> My first MarkHyuck fic. The songs used in the fanfic are from the anime Given. I was listening to the songs again and again, thinking of a way to get the feels out of my system. Finally found the perfect outlet for it. This started out as a NaHyuck exes fic but decided to make it RenHyuck instead. I'm also not quite sure about the English equivalent of the song titles, so they're probably not that accurate. I apologize in advance.
> 
> Thanks to the first readers of this fic who have not read the ending yet. Love you guys always! Thank you for encouraging me to finish this.

Donghyuck wakes up to the warmth of a Saturday morning. The sun’s rays from the window move past the thin white curtains and greet him like an alarm. He groans from the slight pain of his ass and his back, an expected after effect when he pushed his partner over the edge of lust the night before.

Regardless, he had fun, and the cuddles after were, and still are, a blessing.

Mark Lee is quite adorable, even in Donghyuck’s half-asleep gaze. His innocence is amplified ten-fold, and perhaps Donghyuck can’t help but wonder what he did in his previous life to deserve him. He shuffles to reach for his phone and check the time. It stirs the other boy slightly but is not enough to wake him.

The screen flashes 7:35 AM. They have rehearsals for their album launch at 10 AM.

He has half a mind to call in late just so he can have more time reveling in these quiet, simple moments with Mark. However, they poured their blood, sweat, and tears into their album, going show after show to promote a couple of their songs, so they could gain a following. They had nights of no rest and moments of anguish just to get to the place they were today.

Maybe another day, he thinks.

“Mark,” Donghyuck kisses him awake, a tender morning call that the other boy always welcomes with a smile, despite his sleepiness, “wake up.”

Instead of getting up, Mark draws Donghyuck closer to him, murmuring something incoherent in protest. They huddle together in Mark’s warm duvet, bodies bare and against each other, offering warmth amidst the cool temperature brought about by the air conditioner. Another raid of kisses ambushes the sleepy Mark.

Donghyuck topples him planting kisses from his cheek to his neck then to his jaw. The boy under him laughs, admitting his defeat and now fully awake, “Good morning,” Mark says, his voice still hoarse and low.

“Good morning,” Donghyuck smiles as if every moment is a gift. And it really is, he would tell himself, when he shared it with the boy who taught him how to love again – who taught him what it would be like when love felt right.

“I’m making breakfast today, right?” Mark had been offering for the past few days to do his signature omelet, one he supposedly perfected with the help of their drummer, Johnny. But Donghyuck still wasn’t convinced. 

Mark had to coerce the younger for days on end until Donghyuck got annoyed and decided to give in. But of course, it came with his signature glare and a warning, “I swear Mark Lee, if you hurt yourself, I’m going to hurt you ten times more.” 

Suffice to say Mark saw the threat as merely a form of endearment on Donghyuck's part and reassured the younger that everything would be alright. Their set date for Mark’s big breakfast would be the morning for their rehearsals, ‘For good omens’ Mark said. 

Donghyuck merely huffed in reply but found it cute nonetheless. 

On days when Mark said he would hang out with Johnny on their days off, he noticed that the older would come back with strips of band-aid plastered on his hand or his arms. A part of Donghyuck wondered, why the fuck is he having a hard time cooking eggs of all things? And the other part admired Mark’s eagerness to make such an effort. 

So now it brings them to breakfast on the day of rehearsals at 8 in the morning with Mark manning the stove in his boxers, holding a spatula and heating oil in his newly bought non-stick pan. He was to make Donghyuck a ham and cheese omelet without any help from the younger whatsoever. 

Donghyuck sits on a stool of Mark’s little dining area, watching as the other boy cooks, or attempts to cook for that matter. Mark hums a tune with the sizzle of the oil as the omelet drops being his background music. Despite the mundane setting, it plays out like a movie in Donghyuck’s mind. His contentment engraved in his heart, developing into a seed of potential inspiration for their next song. Other than being their band’s guitarist, Mark is his muse - his support system through it all. He is the gravity that pulls Donghyuck back whenever his doubts start to take over. 

Mark is his home.

A couple of minutes later, the boy presents Donghyuck his dish. The egg is slightly brown, a tad greasy, but the sesame oil Mark used made the omelet smell good. Donghyuck takes a bite, pleasantly surprised at how it turned out good. He gives the older a quick kiss on the cheek and a thumbs up, “Donghyuck approved!”

The happiness in Mark’s face was enough to make the morning golden. They would have bad days, Donghyuck thinks at the back of his mind, but days like these are worth the occasional inconvenient heartaches. 

Rehearsals are a whirlwind of tension and strive for perfection. Donghyuck is adept at knowing how their songs should be projected on huge amplifiers, what the lights should feel like during what song, and how transitions can be smoothly done with each song. 

It helps that Na Jaemin, their bassist, was just as particular as Donghyuck performance-wise as well. Jaemin would give his suggestions on how to make their stages exciting, perhaps adding something new to the mix. Specializing in animation on his day job, he was also responsible for creating the moving backgrounds for their performances, making it a more high-value production despite the average budget their record label gave them. 

Johnny was also a positive presence in the group, always making sure they were okay amidst the pressure. Being a couple of years older, Johnny was the band’s reliable older brother. He had been the one who encouraged Mark to pursue music at an early age. And now, he was here, standing on the same stage in front of him - now living the same dream. 

Mark was a perfectionist when it came to sound. Often, he and Donghyuck would butt heads when it came to playing their song a certain way, but most of the time it would die down before it got any bigger. Mark had learned somehow not to hold his anger for too long, and Donghyuck, on the other hand, learned to compromise. 

Their rehearsals end at eleven, and Donghyuck decides to crash at Mark’s place again. This time, they slept as much as they could, exhausted from all the last-minute preparations and practicing they had to do. Donghyuck finds comfort in Mark's embrace as they rest for the new chapter that was about to unfold in their lives. 

It was Donghyuck’s first album launch, and Huang Renjun was not going to miss it. 

He had delayed his flight to New York, where he was supposed to attend his very first foreign art exhibit, so he could witness the culmination of Donghyuck’s hard work. The huge performance that would propel him toward his lifelong dream of being a singer. 

The crowd that gathered at the venue was just as eager as he was to hear all the songs the band has worked on performed live. Half of the songs in the group’s discography were familiar to Renjun. Somehow, he could still remember Donghyuck singing them to him when they were just teenagers, thinking they had the world at the palm of their hands. 

Now, Donghyuck has a crowd full of people listening to him, listening to songs about Renjun, and ones that are about someone else.

Renjun has a perfect view of the stage. There was nostalgia in being among a crowd of people that were waiting for Donghyuck to perform. He remembers being a constant in Donghyuck’s solo shows when only four or five people would watch him perform. The memory of him still singing his heart out regardless was still precious to Renjun. 

It took all of his strength to hold back his tears. He felt silly. The band wasn’t even performing yet, and there he was, teary for reasons anyone in the crowd would not understand. 

Then, for what felt like a tunnel leading Renjun toward the direction of heaven, white lights from the back of the venue directed the crowd’s attention toward the stage. Guitars, bass, and drums all sound together, welcoming the audience before going silent again. Renjun finally sees Donghyuck in his full glory, with his guitar and a microphone in front of him. 

The masses cheer, shout his name, cry. 

Renjun, too, does not notice the tears he’s been trying to hold back falling down. 

The song they start off with is one of their new songs - a story he is no longer a part of. But when he looks at Donghyuck brimming with excitement, Renjun allows the singer to take him to that moment.

_Track 1:_ [ _We Both Suck at This_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0gOmwqCG7c&ab_channel=uyuutea)

They walk out when the lights dim and play simultaneously to signal the crowd of their arrival. Lights are directed toward them, and on stage, Donghyuck feels vulnerable, almost naked in the countless gazes in front of him. But he revels in it. He revels in their attention, their eager eyes waiting for his songs.

The sound of their instruments overflow, letting the audience drift in the sea of their tune. Donghyuck, the captain of their ship, belts out the first verse to the microphone, telling his story in rhythms, glancing at Mark, his main protagonist. 

Donghyuck narrates their beginnings in small verses. Mark met Donghyuck in college, when they were both studying music. Mark, being a year older, was always ready to help Donghyuck if he was struggling with a class. Their friendship fell into place almost immediately despite their occasional banter.

Eventually, when Donghyuck got out of his first and longest relationship, Mark started making his move.

At first, both of them were too shy, too stubborn to admit that they liked each other. Mark being a mess of words when he tries to communicate to Donghyuck about his feelings. Donghyuck still guarded from his previous heartbreak. 

They take a while to ease into their transition from friends to lovers. 

But Mark is patient. Being a witness to Donghyuck’s heartache, he does not force his feelings, his expectations unto the boy. He acts in small graces – the little things that Donghyuck has grown to love so much.

Despite being awkward, what he fails to say in words, he does so in action. 

When Donghyuck was struck with an anxiety attack the day before their first big show, Mark never left his side, holding his hand through it all. On days when loneliness would strike him, Mark would go straight to his house from work to bring him food and stay with him until morning. 

And when they’d argue, whether it be about their songs or about something personal, they always manage to never stay mad at each other for too long. Mark lowers his pride, and Donghyuck learns to do the same. 

Whenever Donghyuck would think Mark was on the verge of breaking things off with him for good, Mark welcomes him back with kisses and a reassurance that he would stay.

In such moments, Donghyuck would think it had been a while since he had never felt a love that was as easy as breathing. 

The crowd sings the choral _oh_ s of the song, like angels, Donghyuck thinks. 

_Once more_

They join Donghyuck in singing, fueling the singer’s adrenaline. This is also home, he thinks. The stage, the people, the blinding lights, their songs.

_Track 2:_ [ _Dawn Is Breaking_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3LXGJA53hc&ab_channel=clarisseyo131)

Renjun drowns in the cheers and the aftermath of the band’s first performance. His heart is racing, the familiar feeling he always had when Donghyuck was in his element. His presence, his voice, and the way he would look at the crowd were always so entrancing. 

“The next song is one of the older songs I made,” Donghyuck says to the crowd, “I hope you enjoy..”

The crowd turns quiet. They await the next blow from the venue’s large speakers to take them on a whole other journey. Donghyuck’s voice resonates in the silence of the venue, singing acapella. 

Then, the first strum of Mark’s guitar trailing behind him.

Eventually, all the instruments come together in harmony. Renjun closes his eyes and lets Donghyuck take him on the boat ride floating through their memories with his song. 

Renjun and Donghyuck had been friends since they were eight years old, when Renjun first moved to Korea with his family. Only learning a little bit of the language, the kids in his class made fun of him that day, except Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck, who was one of the noisiest in his class, was also the most considerate person he knew. He was patient with teaching Renjun Korean. And gradually, his presence became a constant in his life, the love becoming gradual, like the slow pour of an hourglass that filled his heart with a mixture of yearning and guilt. 

When he confessed to his friend at the age of 14, tears began spilling and running down Donghyuck’s cheeks. Renjun held him, murmuring apologies, but Donghyuck replied, “Why are you apologizing? I’m happy, you idiot. I thought you were never going to look my way.”

They both laughed in relief, feeling the weight of their silent burden lifting, evaporating from their mutual love. 

Donghyuck’s high note fills their senses, leaving Renjun breathless and the hairs of his skin rising. The crowd cheered in awe of his prowess. Renjun could see Donghyuck light up from the crowd’s support. 

It reminded him of the first time Donghyuck sang in front of the crowd. He was all nerves and fear to which Renjun had to constantly soothe him and remind him he’d do great. Somehow, those were the times when Renjun felt loved because Donghyuck needed him - he was the one Donghyuck turned to when he needed someone to lean on. 

“You’ll do great, love” he whispered to him a couple of minutes before Donghyuck went on, “No matter what, I believe in you.”

“Thank you, always” then, Donghyuck stepped on stage with his guitar, facing the audience head on with eyes that had intense determination akin to a lone soldier facing thousands of enemies. But as he sings comes the tenderness and warmth that was similar to the sun’s. 

The third verse comes in, the melody taking them high and low like how the waves touch the sea in the morning. Donghyuck lifts the souls of every person in the audience, leading them to rapture with his voice.

On the stage, the lyrics escape Donghyuck’s voice like a distant memory. He’s back to when he was doing live shows with only a few people in the crowd, five if he was lucky. A familiar face came to his mind, one he grew so fond of as a child and in his teenage years - his taste of first love. 

His voice rises for the chorus, hoping to reach the person, wherever he was at that moment. Then in the song’s gradual descent, the memories flood back to him, their first “I love you,” the in-betweens, the ones that count. He remembers the smile on his first love’s face as they shared their triumphs together. He remembers some of the promises. He regrets having forgotten some.

But at the end of the song, he wishes him well. Despite the sadness of their parting, he tells the boy that he is okay – he has been okay for quite a while.

_‘Be happy, Renjun’_

As the conclusion nears, Donghyuck’s voice fades, letting the instruments take the reign. The song ends with Mark’s guitar leading them to the finish line.

_Track 3:_ [ _I’ll Dedicate This Stage to You_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpslxxZqBBk&ab_channel=iwee)

“Our next song is something I made during a really..” Donghyuck pauses, thinking of the right words to say, “eye-opening part of my life,” a smile graces his lips. 

Despite the pain that came with the conclusion of their love story, he remembers the happy moments of their union - his best friend at the start of it all. 

The intro starts, Donghyuck closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Then, when his cue to sing came in, his emotions overflowed, sweeping the crowd away with a song he composed in reconciliation to the wreckage that came with the end of a chapter. It was released along with the days Donghyuck wished there would never be a goodbye between them.

_I am trapped in a mess without a name put on the sound and I throw it at you now_

Donghyuck’s eyes meet the crowd’s, wandering through the sea of unknown faces. As his gaze scours the waters, he is met by a familiar memory. Renjun is standing amongst the crowd with a smile on his face. 

_The light that shines on me and you right now will shine even brighter in the future_

The words he had failed to mention left his lips in an easy rhythm. It was easier to sing about his feelings than explain himself in their misunderstandings. The echo of their fight, both the little ones and big ones, are followed by an apologetic verse and a promise for a better future apart.

_Hey, what have you been up to?_

_How did you spend your days?_

_Tears, fear, anger, loneliness_

_I could never express them well, they’re just randomly forced in me_

_But even during those times, I’m sure I could still picture your smile_

_We’ve been through a lot, we both cried and laughed_

_We’ve made it far_

_That’s why I’m sure we’ll definitely be okay_

_I'm sure we'll meet again_

The anguish and disappointments that came between them in pursuit of their dreams both left a void in their relationship. Renjun being so focused on his work, and Donghyuck who was also very passionate about his music. One would forget birthdays. Sometimes even anniversaries. Small fights would turn into big fights, kisses often bruises. And the love founded on friendship had simply festered into something dark.

In the harsh stage light, he sees Renjun cry, cheeks drenched in the ending chorus of drums, bass, and guitar. Donghyuck, too, wells up in sadness. The tears of his younger self. 

It was a winter night when Donghyuck decided to move out of their apartment. Renjun held his hand tight, their arms with patches of purple from the fight they had the night before. His shoulders were shaking, his palms warm on Donghyuck’s skin, “Please don’t go. Don’t leave me,” he said. This was the fifth time. 

Donghyuck’s throat burned from yelling, his voice was hoarse. Their anger had erupted, making them forget the love they promised to each other. It had been a long time coming, Donghyuck thought at that time. 

He didn’t want to hate the love of his life, his best friend anymore. He was tired.

“I’m sorry.”

The last words of his song are garbled, he is no longer in control of his emotions. They are lost in his tears. 

As the song reached its ending, there was silence, a murmur of tears held back from the audience and Donghyuck, who lowered his head. He gives them a frantic apology before Mark grabs his hand and takes him away from the stage.

Jaemin grabs hold of the microphone, telling everyone to enjoy the VCR that would be playing in a short while. 

As the rest of the band members prepare for the next set, Donghyuck and Mark stand in a secluded area backstage. Mark shifts his guitar to face his back and pulls Donghyuck close to him. Donghyuck shakes in Mark’s embrace, letting out the remnants of his pain, the suppressed heartache he had tried to conceal before. 

“Renjun’s in the crowd. Is that why you were crying?” Mark asks, his voice soothing.

“Maybe,” he whispers, “Just seeing him there really feels like a proper goodbye this time.”

Closure. A close to what was once beautiful that turned bitter in the end. 

“Are you okay to get back out there, babe?” Mark asks, “If you’re not, then it’s fine. We can find a way..”

Donghyuck snorts, pulling away from Mark’s hold, smiling. The traces of sadness from a while ago fading. “No idiot, we worked hard for this. There’s no way I’m backing out of my first album launch.”

“Mark and Donghyuck 5 minutes before the second set!” one of the staff members yells. 

Hearing the annoyance in the woman’s voice, they laugh like silly teenagers before making their way to prepare.

When Donghyuck appears in front of the crowd again, he notices Renjun was no longer in his spot. Despite the tinge of sadness, he is happy that the boy still managed to see him perform even for a short while. 

The band carried on through the night and successfully finished their first album launch. 

  
  
  


Renjun wasn’t sure why he went to Donghyucks’s first album launch wearing the necklace the singer gave him on their first anniversary. The necklace was made of silver with a small sun-shaped pendant with their initials engraved on it. He remembers the promise of going to America or some other country to wed, one that legalized their union. He remembers songs on a mixtape Donghyuck dedicated solely for him- _for Renjun’s ears only_ he would say. He remembers the jokes only they would understand. 

“Fuck..”

_I hope in our next life we work out, whether it be as best friends or as lovers. Goodbye, Donghyuck..._

He unhooks the necklace and finally lets go.

  
  


The band is high on their success. Or more likely a bit drunk from the alcohol they’ve consumed to celebrate their first album launch. It was already 2 in the morning when everyone from the crew had decided to turn in for the night. 

Donghyuck had drunk more than he could, feeling a bit light-headed from the buzz of alcohol. Mark had sobered up after a few drinks of water and iced tea, as well as a couple of bites of meat. On the other hand, Jaemin and Johnny had ended the night unscathed with Jaemin only having a few glasses to drink, unable to really stand the taste of alcohol, and Johnny having the alcohol tolerance of a veteran drinker. 

“Are you really sure you can drive Mark?” Johnny asks, face obvious with worry. 

Mark reassures his friend for the fifth time as he leads Donghyuck to his car, “Yes, hyung. I’ll be fine,” he carefully lets the boy sit on the front seat, straps his seatbelt, then closes the door. 

Johnny gave him one last look before finally giving in to Mark, “Call me if you’re having trouble, alright?”

Mark nods in reply, then makes his way to the driver’s seat. Donghyuck is half-asleep beside him, murmuring something incoherent, “You really let yourself go, didn’t you Donghyuck?”

The singer hums his reply, before pulling out his phone and tapping through his screen. The car starts and Mark drives both of them back to his apartment. It would be a short drive back as the roads were clear during the peak of dawn. 

His car’s radio beeps, signaling that a phone had been connected to it via Bluetooth. 

Donghyuck slurs his words saying, “For your ears only..”

_Track 4:_ [ _Checking the Answers_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI_fCegBxZw&ab_channel=iwee)

The city lights look like a cascade of colors as Donghyuck’s vision continues to blur from the buzz of the alcohol. He’s had a little too much, he thinks. And perhaps tomorrow, waking up will be a chore. But for now, he wants to give Mark something. 

He goes through his playlist of compositions, ones he has not released yet. 

There was one song in particular that he was saving up as a gift for Mark - a small thank you, although words or melodies can never describe how grateful he is for Mark Lee. 

The song plays, the audio is still rough as it wasn’t completely fully produced in a studio. It was merely Donghyuck in his raw form - microphone, his guitar, and a couple of beats to add flavor into the song. 

Mark is silent as he listens, eyes focused on the road ahead as they go through the intersection that was going to lead them home. The car ceases at a stoplight. The boy on the driver’s seat remains silent, and somehow, Donghyuck’s nervousness seems to have sobered him up a little. 

As they reach the parking lot of the apartment, Mark does not kill the engine just yet. He waits for the song to end. The parking lot is deserted. The atmosphere outside of the car is quiet. Mark closes his eyes as he absorbs the lyrics and the melody, understands it. 

When the chorus brings them to the closing of the song, Mark pulls out something from his pocket, a small black box. He’s shy under the fluorescent streetlight, shadows of his smile still visible to the bleary-eyed Donghyuck. 

“I wanted to give this to you when we were alone,” Mark says, opening the box, revealing a pure gold ring. He takes the ring out of the box and lifts Donghyuck’s hand, slipping it on his ring finger. 

“You could have given it to me when I wasn’t this spit-drunk, Mark Lee,” he says, masking the warmth, the tickling feeling in his heart he’s too embarrassed to admit.

Mark laughs, like he always does when Donghyuck had something snarky to say. He leans in, closing the distance between him and Donghyuck, their lips pressed together in a soft, gentle kiss. 

“I’d walk with you through every season of your life, Lee Donghyuck,” Mark whispered.

“So fucking cheesy,” he laughs, but being intoxicated in Mark’s love at 3 AM in the parking lot near his apartment, Donghyuck thinks he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I won't promise a sequel or prequel because I always write based on my mood.
> 
> However, I hope you can leave a Like and Kudos to tell me what you think. Thanks!!


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